Life Through Lenses
by Milita
Summary: Ginny remebers the past years and her feelings for Harry, all together with her new Hobby. After Harry broke up with Cho. Open end .. That means it´s not really clear, but I´ll just say I wrote it thinking thigs would go Ginny´s way ;-)


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Life through lenses

(Dumb tittle, I know)

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Author´s Note: _My fist HP fanfic in a loooooooooong time, hope you enjoy it. It´s kinda stupid ... Not very good, but... Well, I feel like Ginny is out of character, in this story, she´s twice as shy, kinda like me at times._

It came out a bit longer that I intended to ... Still, I didn´t feel like dividing the story into chapters.

I wrote this fic late at night, after a long session of chat, so don´t be to surprised by the hundreds of grammar and spelling mistakes I provably have, or by the made up words. English isn´t my native language, so.. I´m not really good at it. Sorry. L 

Please review, and if you see any grammar mistakes... mm.. just write them down on a list, and mail them to me, I´ll work on them later.

Oh, yeah. I don´t own the characters, just the plot. Be Happy.

It was a 1986 Nikon camera, black, with two different lenses, a brown leather case and a tripod (which I kept under my bed and rarely used). My father gave it to me for my fourteenth birthday, he probably thought a young witch my age wouldn't really want a new wand or chocolate frogs, he just figured out I would be thrilled with a muggle camera.

After I ungrapped the gift, I remember holding it in my hands speechless.

It definitely wasn't what I was expecting, but ... it was a surprise, I usually liked surprises.

"You like it, Ginny?" asked my father, with a sweet smile on his old face.

I just smiled back and thanked him. I knew he had a thing for muggle stuff, and how he was giving me something he would have liked to receive, so I appreciated it.

The whole summer, I just kept it in its case, over my pile of schoolbooks. I didn't even try and use it, I was never too attracted to muggle things. But then, not even when I'm attracted to something ... or someone, I spend too much time with it ... or him. 

Like you must have guessed, by _him_ I meant the school's most admired boy, Ron´s best friend and the only thing I really wanted and couldn't have. 

So, just like every summer, Harry Potter visited us. He slept in Ron's room, and would spend the whole day around the house, fascinated by our family and our customs. 

Like I said before, I just can't always be around the things I'm attracted to, like Harry. 

I couldn't spend a second next to him without blushing, or doing something stupid.

When I was younger I didn't really mind blushing, just as long as I could be around him. I didn't mind having my whole family know about my feelings for Harry either, not until I turned 13.

All of a sudden I wanted my secrets and _my_ feelings to remain private. I wanted privacy. 

So I just spend that whole summer in my room, trying not to meet with Harry at the stairs or the kitchen, having breakfast earlier and dinner after everyone else. 

I would sit on the floor, next to my window and watch how Harry and Ron played their version of quidditch with two players on the hills. I couldn't tell Harry apart from Ron at such distance, but just feeling he was there, made it all special for me.

I couldn't really look into his eyes from that far, but I couldn't look at them up close either. Whenever my brown eyes looked into that sweet pair of emeralds, I felt myself go from pink to a tone very similar to the one of the roaring fire, that's when I did silly stuff. 

Like falling over, or breaking things, and Harry would go and try to help me, and since I didn't really wanted to go red, I refused his help ... he probably thought I was some kind of antisocial-dumb-witch.

It was incredible how things just never worked the way I wanted them to, so I would get all depressed, and go right back to my room.

It was about two weeks till my fifth year in Hogwarts started, and Ron had invited some of his classmates to visit us for the day, they stayed in the living room, ate and laughed. I just sat in my room, listening to them. 

After a loud session of laughter, I heard a moment of silence, and figured they were waiting for more food (its incredible the way teenagers just eat everything in front of them) ... until I heard a knock on my door. I quickly picked up a book, just to make it look like I was having fun by my own, and muttered that the door was open.

"Hey Ginny, wanna come down with--" It was Ron, my brother, he was older than I by a year, but since he had turned 15, it didn't seem like so. He was so tall lately, had this new deep voice, and this little hairs all over his chin. My mother kept bugging him to shave, but Ron seemed to like them, he wouldn't listen and made jokes about how he was a real man now and would leave the house to go and work at a circus, just to see the expression of fear in my mom's face. 

"No, no ... I'm ... really interested in this book, did you know butterflies could fly at a speed of 15 miles per hour?" I made that up, really fast, to sound interesting and as if I was really having fun with that silly book.

"Wow, really?" Ron laughed "So, you learned all that in a cooking book?"

I blushed a little. Lesson number one: never, ever pick just any book and pretend you actually read it.

"Okay, so.. You want to come down? ...Harry's there..." he said the last part of the sentence, as if he was singing. It really annoyed me.

"Shut up" I muttered, from behind the book, which was actually a cooking book, and didn't even mention butterflies at all.

He smiled. "Sorry, so... would you please come, oh Ginny queen of the universe? Hermione would like to see you ... And Neville too, and Parvarti is down there ... You know her, right? And Lavender, and Dean..."

I really wanted to see Hermione, she was the only friend I could actually talk freely about Harry with, and the only friend whom I could make fun of Ron with.

But "There's Harry", and if there's Harry, there's blushing for Ginny.

"No, you see Ron.. I was..." I picked up the item closer to me, the camera. "Working with this camera, it happens to be a really interesting muggle item.. And ... And it's really interesting... So, since I'm in my cultural stage I decided--"

"Yeah right" he laughed as he closed the door, and I was left all alone with the camera in my hands. I started playing with it while I heard Ron telling everyone about how "Ginny wouldn't come, she has all this lame excuses.. Must be pre-menstrual syndrome" and another round of general laughter.

So after cursing to Ron under my breath, I discovered that Dad wasn't that bad at giving gifts. The little item actually looked interesting. I spend that whole afternoon learning how to use it, and at night, when I was done with the film, Dad teacher me in the darkest room of the house, how to make muggle pictures (the funny thing is that they don't move).

And the school year started, and while I was getting my stuff ready I picked the camera from my bed, and carefully slipped it between my books and robes. 

I once had heard that Dumbledore personally checked our things with a spell, so that we weren't bringing anything "illegal", I guess his spell didn't work, cause I was able to keep the camera all year.

I would hide under my bed to reveal the pictures, like my own little private dark room, once they were ready, Id stick my favourite ones in Ron´s old charms book. 

It had been in the family for years. Mom had finally agreed to get me a new one, so I wouldn't need that one any more. 

I wrote "Ginny's Album" on the cover with my wand, the letters changed colour whenever you touched them. A little trick Hermione once mentioned.

Being fifteen is hard, much harder than being 14 ... Believe me, I've been there. All of a sudden, your whole view of the world is completely different. 

Before it was much easier, I would just hide behind my mom´s legs in case of danger, but I couldn't really do that now. 

Maybe my troubles weren't that big, not something to really worry about. I just had a crush on my brother's best friend, felt lonely even at parties, and sometimes cried myself to sleep with no reason at all. 

I liked to think that, in some years from now, I would sit down, remember this, and laugh at how silly I was.

But, meanwhile, my lil´camera really helped me. I was, literally, like seeing the world with whole new lenses. I could zoom on everyone and everything, and nobody noticed. I could get a real look at Harry´s eyes, without blushing.

I captured pretty much everything going on at Hogwarts, all the action. I would take the little thing everywhere with me.

That night, I had just finished some pics, so I went down to the common room, quietly, and sat down to stick them into my album.

I loved the feeling of having my little masterpieces in my hands, Harry was in most of them, there was one I liked a lot. You could see how green his eyes were, cause he had been looking straight at the camera that time. I just kept staring at it, it was like, if I could actually feel his eyes looking back at me, without blushing.

"Ginny, what are you doing?" I jumped on my chair, and turned around. 

"Harry!" 

There he was, Harry Potter live. His hair was a little wet, just like his robes, so I guessed he had been out in the rain. I could feel his eyes on me. So, since it wasn't a picture, I blushed. 

"I-I.. Didn't hear you.. I was just.." When Harry wasn't around, I would make up imaginary conversations between us, where he admired how clever, funny and charming I was. But, in real life, I had trouble putting sentences together whenever we started a conversation.

"I can tell" he grinned "That's me?"

I went from red to fuchsia, as he took the picture from my hand and smiled.

"I don't remember ever seeing a picture of myself" he said, "That's an album?"

"Yes...." I muttered

"Could I see it?" He took a chair, and sat next to me.

"Well.. Yeah" I closed it, and handed it to him. He smiled, as a "thank you", and started going through the pages. 

Harry had been very friendly to me, since I started hanging out around Hermione. He was always nice and polite ... And me, well I just blushed all the time.

"Hey" he said as he turned the pages "I didn't know you were into photography" 

"It's... It's just a hobby" I muttered. 

Harry went on looking at the pictures, he took about a minute on each, and it made me really uncomfortable. I felt as if he was reading my soul through my pictures. They were, in some way, my diary. Everything I had ever noticed was in there. But I just couldn't take the album away from his beautiful green eyes, I kept admiring them as he turned the pages. They seemed fascinated.

"Wow, this are really good" he said once he reached the quidditch section. I could only manage to blush, fortunately he wasn't looking.

"No, really" he said after a while waiting for my reply, which didn't come "They're very good. I can almost see them moving, I can actually feel the same way I felt that day, it was a very important match. Remember?"

"Yeah" I said "It was ... Really fun"

I could recall that match, a few years ago. It hadn't really been that special to anybody in Hogwarrts, except for Harry. It had been during his fifth year, a match against Ravenclaw. 

It was a cold day, all you could see in the sky were clouds. Dark clouds, like it was gonna rain any second. I wasn't really worried about the rain, I was sitting with Hermione, waiting for the players to come out to the field. Hermione was completely sure it was going to rain, so she had brought her wand, just in case, she had said. 

I couldn't worry about the rain. I was to worried about Harry, it was going to be his very first match in some weeks, and I, and my camera, were completely ready to capture all the action. 

The players were still getting ready, I used my camera to zoom around, until I spotted Harry. He was ready, walking around the field, waiting for the rest of the team. I snapped a picture.

Cho Chang was coming towards him, I made an angry noise and took one of her, from her worst angle, of course. They started talking. Harry was laughing, so was Cho, and as they started getting closer, I started getting more and more worried.

And then ... they kissed. I felt frozen, the camera was suddenly very heavy, so I sat next to Hermione. 

I looked at her, I knew she had been watching too. She sighed, and told me how Cho and Harry had been going out for a couple of days. 

"I wanted to tell you, but Harry said it was a secret ... I mean, it used to be. I believe that almost everyone knows now, I'm sorry Ginny. I don't like Cho very much either, but he makes Harry so happy"

Once the pictures were ready, I intended to burn the all, but I couldn't. I just stuck them into my album, and would look at them occasionally. 

It was my diary, even if it hurt, I just couldn't keep anything from that book.

"Yeah ... real fun" Harry whispered to himself. I noticed he was looking at a picture of Cho Chang in her broom.

I started humming a song, waiting for him to change the page. Several minutes went by until I finally heard the sound of moving paper.

"Hey, look. There's another one of me in here, it's funny. I'm in almost all of them." He looked up from the pic where he was holding last year's cup and smiling happily.

"Yeah... You're very... photogenic, you know" I managed a smile.

"If you say so" he laughed.

"Umm.. Harry?" 

He turned the page, to last year's goodbye feast.

"Yeah?"

"You... and... and Cho... are you.." I started; he looked up at me, a surprised expression on his eyes. "I--I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked... I ... I was just--"

"No, no... It's okay. I just figured Hermione had told you, or something." he gave me a little don't-worry-be-happy smile.

"Well.. I... I have heard things ..." I said. Harry didn't answer, he just went on turning the pages of the album.

"This was a very special night, you remember?" 

I moved closer to him, using as an excuse I wanted to get a better look at the pictures.

"Yeah, I was very sad that day. I just didn't want to go home"

"It was a fun year, wasn't it?" I just nodded.

It might sound juvenile, but I remember that I had a whole-elaborated plan that night, so I could sit right next to Harry. I had asked Hermione to sit next to me, and Ron in front of her, just between the twins, so that Harry was forced to sit by me.

"Where's Harry?" I asked once Dumbledore had finished his speech.

"Oh.. he must be here somewhere..." said Ron, he turned to Hermone "Hey, so what happened to..."

I looked around. Everyone was chatting happily, laughing, eating. And no sing of Harry anywhere. 

Maybe it had been all those years as a Harry Potter fan ... but, all of a sudden, through all the different voices in the room, I recognised his laughter. Even though I could tell he was far, I could also tell he was having a lot of fun. 

I looked around once again, and saw him, in the Ravenclaw table, next to Cho Chang and some of her friends.

I didn't say anything to anyone, I just stopped eating, took my camera, and started taking pictures, as the camera covered a tear rolling down my left cheek.

"Say, Ginny..." Harry said suddenly, I looked up and our eyes met. I could feel all my face going red. From the first freckle on my left cheek, to the last freckle on my right one.

"There are some pics of Malfoy in here, too" He gave me an evil grin. 

"Wha?... No.. No" 

He went back a few pages and showed me several pictures of Draco Malfoy at a quidditch match.

"Oh, come on" he laughed.

"No, no. You see, I was trying to capture Slytherin's feeling after they lost to Gryffindor" I explained, but it only made Harry laugh harder. 

"Yeah, right" he said, looking closely at a picture of Malfoy in the library.

"And.. And that one was just an accident, I was taking pictures of the library.. He was just there.. I.. I.." I felt like crying I really didn't want Harry to think I was interested in someone else. I didn't. I didn't want to make him jealous or anything, I just couldn't hurt him in any way, even if I knew he wasn't really hurt... I still had a little bit of hope in my heart.

"Okay, okay.. I believe you" he said, after seeing my worried expression "So, if it's not Malfoy..." He smiled, and went back to the pictures.

"I... I.. It's nobody, I'm a lonely person" I was feeling very uncomfortable having such a conversation with him, the last thing I wanted was to have Harry find out. Not then, not that way.

"Lonely person?" He took off his glasses, cleaned them with his cloack, and set them back on. "You don't look like a lonely person to me"

I blushed. It always happened when he looked at me. I just couldn't do anything else, but blush. 

"Uh, thanks" I looked away, trying not to seem too uncomfortable. The room was completely silent and empty, except for the two of us. It was probably past midnight, maybe 2... or 3 A.M.

Through one of the windows I could see the stars, and the moon. It seemed like a beautiful silver coin, watching us from the sky.

It would have been a very romantic scene, if Harry hadn't been more interested in the album than in me.

"Ginny, you think I could keep a picture?" He smiled.

"Of course! Which one do you like?" How could I possibly say no to someone with such a lovely smile?

I moved closer to him, and took the album, his hands touched mine for a second, as he decided which one he liked, and his arm rested close to mine. A lovely second.

"They're great, you could make a career out of this" he whispered, while he turned the pages, and gave all the pictures another look. 

We where so close, I could feel his sweet scent in the air, it reminded me, of the smell the quidditch camp had in the mornings, under the sun, after it had been raining all night.

"Just pick one ... The one you like the most" Just as I said that, he stopped at a picture I had taken in Hogsmade. It was a really lovely picture, you could see the sunset, some of the stores, people walking around, laughing happily, and in the middle, Cho. She was smiling, as if she had known I was taking a picture, her hair was floating around, as if the wind danced through it, and the sun made her eyes look even prettier.

And the happy feeling Harry had been causing inside of me, suddenly was completely tiny, nothing compared to how sad I felt, just wishing Harry would look at me that way.

"Y-You want that one?" I asked, moving away from him.

"It's beautiful..." he muttered, he looked up at me. Our eyes didn't meet, I was looking around the room, trying to seem in a hurry to go to bed, suddenly, being with him all alone in that room, only reminded me how impossible all the hopes I was keeping were.

"You know... It's been really sad, I really miss her... Did Ron tell you about it?" 

"No.. I told you, I just heard some.. Stuff" I kept looking at my feet, as if they could make me feel better.

"Oh... Well, sometimes... things just aren't what you think, and feeling aren't all that clear... And, it's then, when you've got to take a decision ... It was hard, sure... Who wouldn't fall in love with Cho? ... But, I feel like it's better this way..." his tone was getting lower as he talked, and finally I could barely listen to him.

"A-Are you alright?" I asked, finally allowing my eyes to look at him.

"Yeah" he smiled "Don't worry, I'll get over it... Could I have this one?"

He pointed at a picture Ron had taken for my birthday, after they had woke me up at 5:00 am, with a bucket of cold water. I was looking horrible, wet, sleepy, and dirty.

"...No.. It's... It's.."

"Oh come on, you said I could take any pic" he smiled, and as you probably figured out by now, when Harry smiles, I do just about anything.

"Okay... Just, don't show it to anyone" I blushed.

He gave me the album, and stood up. 

"It's really beautiful, you shouldn't keep it a secret, I really enjoyed looking at it"

He took my hand, and put it on the cover of the album, which now remained closed on the chair he had been using, right over the word "Ginny´s".

"Thanks for the pic, Ginny" he disappeared in the shadows of the common room, and I heard slow footsteps to his room, as he whispered the lyrics to a song.

I just sat there, and waited until he closed the door to his room, to smile to myself. A huge grin.

It just wouldn't seem that special to anybody else, but me. He had said it was beautiful. He said he had enjoyed it, my album. In a away, a book all about me. The real Ginny Weasley.

Author's Note II: Hope you liked it... Be nice with the review, I'm feeling a little bit depressed L 

After reading the story again, I realise Ginny acts a lot like me, and like a friend of mine. Harry acts like another friend, and so does Ron, especially with his "syndrome" joke. 

Sorry for the grammar. 


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